I had this conversation with a friend earlier over lunch.
I told her, “I’m actually at a pretty happy place right now.” I enjoy my freedom. I enjoy the peace. I am pretty happy with the solitude.
It’s quite nice being independent and single, living in the city. Being able to eat whatever and whenever I want. Having no curfew, no expectations on what time to call home.
Went home and took a nap, woke up at 7-ish in the evening and felt a nagging pull on my lower abdomen. The twinge is almost too familiar. It’s gas, wind, flatulence and I’ve had too much of it, as usual. Probably due to bad nutrition, I’ve had a pretty rumbly stomach for the past week now.
The instant I felt the cramping pain I recalled how bad the full fledged attack was on me. I was in my teens and had to call my dad on my cell from the next room to come get me up from the bed because I was too much in pain. The thought of that happening to me here got my heart pounding. One because I am all by myself. Two because I know that nobody really cares enough to come over. Three because I’m really bad at depending on someone. It’s either the upbringing or the pride but I don’t like to trouble anyone if I can help it. Which is why I’ll probably be found as a dried up corpse by the time someone gets to me.
So in fear of having to crawl down approximately 20 steps and driving myself to the hospital, I quickly opened my box of medicine, all taken from my past visits to the doctors. Some of the labels read Pain, Stomach Pain, Gas, Nausea etc. No idea which is for this kind of pain so I Googled the names of the medicine (what will we ever do without Google) and swallowed a pill. Literally.
I feel better now after burping out gas (and farting some) so let’s just pray it goes away soon and I’ll have no trouble giving myself a full body stretch before bed, lol.
Do I still love my life? Yes.
Do I still enjoy solitude? Yes.
Do I want to be alone? Maybe, with someone I can depend on who is within a 3km radius that I can call for help.